The ALIEN
Alien: “Hello! I would like to
have a hamburger”
shop lady:“Sir, this is
a flower shop”
Alien:“What! No hamburgers?”
shop lady:“That's what
I am telling you. Where are you from? You are dressed strangely and
if I may say so you are very dirty.”
Alien:“I just arrived from a
nearby place and decided to land here on this globe. Unfortunately we
set down in a muddy place that had many large and fat pink creatures.
I must say they were very friendly.”
shop lady:“It sounds to
me that you were in a pig pen and this place is called Earth. Oh why
am I talking to you? This conversation is ridiculous. You must
leave.”
Alien:“Can you direct me to
your leader so I can have hamburgers?”
shop lady:“Officer
Bradshaw is outside. He is the man with a nice shiny badge on his hat
and I'm sure he can help you (to herself – this guy belongs in the
looney bin)”
Alien:“Thank you for being so
helpful” He goes outside and walks up to Officer Bradshaw.
“Hello Officer Bradshaw. The nice Earth lady in the store told me
that you can tell me where I can have hamburgers”
OB: “MacDonald's is just across
the street.” He points and says to himself “this
guy is filthy, smelly and weird looking with his pointed ears and
strange clothing. Sure talks strange too. I'd better keep an eye on
him and alert the police station to be prepared to bring a
straightjacket”
Alien:
“oh
thank you for being so kind. I will go across the street right away
and order hamburgers” He
crosses the street and goes into MacDonalds and goes up to the
counter. “Hail
fair beautiful Earth lady, will you give me hamburgers?
MacDo
lady: to
herself “Boy! this guy has quite a line but he sure is weird and
dirty looking, but cute all the same.”
MacDo
lady: “to
go or to stay?
Alien:
“You
are so kind to make such an offer but I must go because my friends
are waiting for me where we landed in what a nice shop lady tells me
is a pig pen.
MacDo
lady:
to herself:
“This is crazy but I will humour him” “How many hamburgers do
you want and what do you want with it?” to
herself: “Just
to be safe I better get my supervisor over to listen in on this crazy
guy.”
Alien:
“ Oh
about 150 and with everything else that goes with it. We must leave
this Earth and my compatriots are hungry and waiting in the pigpen.”
The
supervisor has arrived and is listening in. He has called the police
station and they are on the way with their psychologist and a
straightjacket.
MacDo
Super:
“ Thank you for your order. You will need a knapsack to carry all
this. The bill for your order comes to 354 dollars”
Alien:
“
What are dollars? What is paying? What is a bill? I can only offer
you gold nuggets. Here is a bag of them. Is this enough? I must leave
now” He places a
bag containing about a kilo of nuggets on the counter, shoulders the
huge bag and leaves. The value is roughly 46,000 Canadian dollars.
The
police arrive with their psychologist and guns drawn to arrest the
Alien
MacDo
Super: “ Everything is fine officer. He was sure a very strange,
dirty and smelly guy but he paid his bill in full and all of the
staff here are very happy.
The
Alien has arrived back at the pig pen.
Alien:
He takes half of
the contents of his MacDo bag and tosses it to the pigs who
immediately snort to show their appreciation“Thank
you kind pigs, unfortunately I have not yet learned your language but
I promise I will when we return” He
enters the space ship and is gone.
THE END
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